GH 9/23: It takes less time to plan a wedding than it does to fly to Italy

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GH 9/23: It takes less time to plan a wedding than it does to fly to Italy

Jason's Penthouse: Jason and Sam walk through the door as if they are attached at the sternum. She thanks him for a lovely night and implies they did it in the grass. Anyone remember my favorite line ever on this show? When Sonny said to Carly that they did it in the sand once, and she got all itchy?

Crimson: Xylophone Guy! Maxie comes running into work. Her hair defies the laws of gravity. It's still curly, but it seems to stand straight out from her head.

Corinthaus: Olivia storms in to say they need to talk about how Johnny almost died, and how it can't happen again.

Credits

Emma's Cottage: Robin is on the phone ordering flowers for the wedding. Mac shows up saying this wedding is giving him an ulcer. Robin says the only person who can stop the wedding is the bride.

Crimson: Seriously, y'all, what happened to Maxie's head? I'd make an electric socket joke, but it's too obvious. As terrible hairdos work, it kind of works. It's very distracting is all I know. Looloo looks gorgeous though. Julie Berman is a pretty woman, but she looks particularly fetching today. Not feeling her weird 70's black and white dress, but I recognize it's probably quite chic. Anyhoo, Loo has managed to send Kate out of town. Maxie crumples b/c her hope was that somehow Kate would stop the wedding. Loo says that if Maxie doesn't want to ge tmarried she has to tell Spinelli. Maxie is all liz about it and says she can't hurt Spinelli like that. You know what Maxie and Liz are really saying? They don't want to be the bad guys. They don't REALLY care if Lucky and Spinelli are devastated b/c if they did, they wouldn't string them along like this. They just don't want the guilt part of breaking someone's heart. Shut up, Liz and Maxie.

Johnny's room: Claud visits Johnny.

Corinthaus: Olivia and Sonny bicker a bit about Johnny. I have developed a hearing problem in regards to Sonny's voice, but whatever he says causes her to yell, "how would you feel if I used your son against you?" She stands there, not realizing how that would sound.

Commercials

MC Restaurant: Remember when a couple of dozen people were murdered here, and they were open for business the next day? Carly and Jax have met for breakfast. They are crazily overdressed for breakfast. She looks like she might be in an evening gown from the waist up. She's fretting about her kids. I guess someone finally remembered that Michael and Kristina should be in school.

Madison High: So for some reason all the school kids totally effing hate Michael's guts. What in the world did I miss? These two dudes totally bite his head off for no reason. Does everyone know his brain was bitten by a radioactive spider, or something? Kristina shows up and asks how he's liking school so far.

Jason's Penthouse: Jason is being fitted for his tux. I have no idea what all the kibbitzing is about. Jason hates the tux and fights with the tailor. It's so pointless. Yes, show, we know, suddenly you've decided that Jason is completely one dimensional and is only happy if he's racing trains, or whatever. Sam tells him that he should wear whatever Spinelli wants him to wear. omg, it's a freaking suit. Why is that so impossible for Jason to do?

Corinthaus: Sonny and Olivia continue to fight, and Claud and her arm veins come storming in to shoo Olivia out. This has all happened 85 other times, and it's just as boring as those other times. Olivia makes a threat as she leaves.

Commercials

Dante's room: For some reason Dante hangs off the side of his bed, looking for something. I can't imagine it's not less painful to simply get out of bed. But that's not comical. Looloo shows up while he's upside down and purringly asks if she should call a nurse. He can't upright himself. She kicks his badge under the bed into his line of sight and asks if this is what he's looking for. I keep expecting her to ask him if he knows how to whistle.

Emma's Cottage: Mac sits and makes little bird seed sashays, which is about the hottest thing I've ever seen. He's all angry about it and ties the knots ridiculously tight. Patrick points out that Mac used to hate him, and now they're all a happpy family. Mac keeps murdering the bird seed packet. Patrick leaves, and Robin rescues the sad little bundle.

Jason's Penthouse Hall: Oh, brudder, this is still about the pink tie? I can't argue that a pink tie is about the grossest thing. Sam points out that Spinelli has to live in a pink room (that Jason won't change because he secretly hopes that his true love Brenda will show up some day and claim it). Jason relents and then "hilariously" Spinelli holds out a pink tie. But he's annoying and timid about it. Dude, if you know the guy hates it this much, then why even have it as an option?

Crimson: Maxie flounces about. Shawn Douglas saunters in, saying he can see she's miserable. She tells him to get out. He says today is her lucky day because he's here to save her. oh, good, maybe he means he brought a brush and a gallon of conditioner.

Commercials

Jason's Penthouse: The tailor has thankfully left. Spin tells Jason he's in his debt b/c blah blah blah he's like a real live boy now or whatever. Jason says it's just a tie. Spinelli then makes the fatal mistake of saying "Now I know that nothing can spoil this wedding. Oh, Spinelli.

crimson: Maxie says she's in a great mood because tomorrow she's marrying Spinelli and has a gorgeous dress and fabulous shoes and lovely accessories. Oh, Maxie. Shawn D says that after the wedding, she's going to be staring down the long, dark hallway of the rest of her life. Maxie hops up to ignore this. Not that I mind, but I don't understand how Shawn D knows her so well. He says that she's young and should be out having fun, and that she doesn't want to be married yet, and the only reason she is getting married is because she doesn't want to hurt his feelings. She says that's it would be cruel to leave him at the alter. Who's saying leave someone at the alter? What kind of hateful jackhat would do that? Maxie says she loves Spinelli, and she's going to prove how much to everyone tomorrow.

Madison: Michael and K are in the same math class? I guess that makes sense b/c Alexis probably made sure she actually attended school, and Michael has spent most of his childhood on The Island. Another twerp walks by and says "boo!" Kyle shows up and berates Kristina for not answering her Leash Phone. She says they have to turn them off at school. He snottily says she could put it on vibrate, so she'd know he was calling. Michael says that it's messed up that Kyle gave her this phone. Kyle insults Michael, who starts to get angry. He says something that causes Michael to remember Sam sitting by him and asking him to get better because Kristina needs him. I love that no one mentioned Michael for a year and suddenly it turns out the entire town was constantly visiting him and confessing to crimes. I wonder if when they were at Whole Foods they also bought Emily a birthday card? Michael runs off and Kyle says he's a mess.

Commercials

Oh, I forgot to say that Looloo taunted Dante with his badge for awhile and then left, leaving it on a table out of his reach, saying he'd have to get creative.

Emma's Cottage: Patrick and Robin are attractively color coordinated today. They talk about what a good father Mac is and how he holds himself responsible for Maxie's happiness, and they hope it all ends well.

Jason's Penthouse: Sam thinks Spinelli is lucky to have him as a best man. Jason asks her what time she was planning on going to the wedding. She says she hasn't thought about it, and that he probably has to be there really early. He says he probably does and asks if she'll go with him. She smiles wryly and says she thought he'd never ask. Michael bangs on the door, saying he had to get out of there. Jason asked what happened. Michael turns to Sam and says he remembered something else.

Corinthaus: Sonny finishes a call with Bernie. Claud saunters up and asks if they can go upstairs and work on their project. He says he has to go see Dominic about something, but he'll be back. She's all pouty and sad, but sweetie, it's like barely lunch time. It's not like you walked in wearing a negligee and he said he really wanted to watch a rerun of Seinfeld for the 85th time.

Dante's room: Jax stops by to oddly invite Dante to stay with them while he recuperates. Say who in the what now? Where on earth did that come from? Dante says that's very generous, but he clearly finds it odd as well. He asks what the catch is.

Commercials

NuGH: Spinelli asks to speak to Patrick. Spin is still concerned about getting Mac's approval. He asks how he can convince Mac that he'll be worthy of Maxie. Patrick says that Mac thinks Spin is odd and unstable. Working for a mobster doesn't count. Spin refuses to accept defeat. Gee, Spinelli, maybe you could have tried dating her like normal people do for more than 1 hour before proposing.

Emma's Cottage: Maxie flounces in, looking sick and stupid. She says everything is great, but she's worried she's going to do something dumb. A little to late for that. Maxie says she's terrified of marriage, which is why she should only marry someone who respects that about her, instead of someone who has no regard for her as a person and rushes into a proposal. Maxie says she always thought her parents and then Mac and Flea would be together forever, but they won't. She asks what if marrying Spinelli means she'll lose him.

Jason's Penthouse: Michael says he remembers Sam telling him to fight and to get better for Kristina. She's surprised and says she never visited him at Whole Foods. Michael panics and worries that maybe none of his memories are real.

MC: Claud shows up and pointedly orders some sort of maternity drink. Carly overhears and is annoyed. Claud growls that she and Sonny are going to have a baby. and by that it's pretty clear she means that if she doesn't actually cut the baby out of Carly's body, she'll certainly be scooping it up from the nursery. She doesn't know she means that yet, but she's not balanced.

Dante's room: Sonny shows up to chat. Dante miserably eyes his badge that Looloo left out in plain sight.

the end.

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